Being Stood Up

It never happened to me, until trying these dating apps. I guess that goes to show that people don’t think of people on the other side of the app, as normal people worthy of respect. It’s a game. Far more flippant. In my mind, I think people would only go through the effort of putting up a profile if they dont normally come across potential partners – due to the nature of the work, or social circles etc. So this is just a chance to make first contact with someone outside those circles and then go on a regular date.

From what I see, plenty of the men on these apps do not see it the same way. I also hear there are prostitutes on there which makes things tricky for guys as well.

There are also lots of normal men, but playing the ‘cast a net’ game, it seems. They start things up with different women but they can just drop off the face of the earth, or stand you up, because someone else has caught their attention.

It can be crushing for the ego. But most of all, I hate being stood up. Why did u ask me out if you aren’t gonna be there? Is it so fun to go up to a woman, talk to her, get her to be interested in you, ask her out, then disappear?

I will never get the ignoring thing, but I see that many men do that rather than explaining why or at the very least stating that they wont be seeing you again. It annoys me. And it always goes back to feeling like you lack a lot of things. But more than that, I hate being stood up — they don’t mind that you’ve been looking forward to the date, or even that you got all dressed up and are waiting for them. It is terrible terrible sign of character. So I am learning to be less insulted and more grateful to not have had the chance to cosy up and develop feelings for someone who thinks it is okay to be so inconsiderate.

In a related story, I met one guy who seemed to adore me. The date was fun and went on really long because we got on. He did get a little too enthusiastic about making plans though: We went out on Saturday. At the end of Sat he wanted to go out on Sunday ( I couldnt). Then we had dinner on Monday, which is when he was cooking up plans for Saturday AND Sunday, plus he showed me a salsa dance class we could sign up for together because I said I wanted to take one. A bit much. How would I know if I really wanted to see you every week at dance class if we’ve been on 1 date?

Anyway, he went from texting everyday right up to Thursday, then quiet on Fri and Sat. I prompted and he said he’s been swamped at work. But when the time came for that weekend plans we agreed to, I still hadnt heard from him, And nothing since.

So even the guys who like you more than you like them, and actively pursuing you, can drop off in an instant if something external changes. I have no idea what it is, but it’s funny that can happen. When I really really like someone, if we go on a date and it’s great, I don’t really want to date other people. Sometimes, even when I just LIKE a guy, I’m not interested in dating anyone else.

The good thing is, I felt like this guy would make a great friend and not so much a great partner. I didnt feel gd about having to make the friendzone speech to someone so keen — he’d already told his mother and we bumped into his boss so virtually everyone knew abt me. But since he has disappeared without feeling any need to explain himself, he has given me an out. It’s unfortunate we dont get to be friends, but I’ll live with that.

 

Definitely glad I didn’t fall hard for him because then it would be hard dealing with the fact that he sent all the opposite signals then left me hanging.