I booked my flight. I’m going to Europe.
I’ve been picturing partying in Amsterdam with my friends and doing a bit of research. And I realised, I don’t think I can pretend Rai has nothing to do with anything, while I am there. So I was looking up some creative ways to get in touch if possible.
Lately I’ve also been thinking, he’s just a guy. It’ll pass. And even if we had liked each other, how would it have worked?
As part of my moving on process, I need answers. So I just did a quick search to be assured how unlikely it would have been for me to find a job that lets me live there. And then…
I landed on a job opening in Amsterdam that is, actually, great.
(yeah i know that’s not what the quote thingy is for but whatevs… lol)
This job is in the same industry as I am in now. I am qualified and meet the requirements. They welcome foreigners. They help you move.
Shit!
Suddenly it’s not so much about Peter anymore. I’ve always pictured myself living in Europe, at least for a while. But finding a job is tricky, I’ve looked many times over the years and found so many hurdles and never the perfect thing. Now this has just plopped down in front of me and I think I have a good chance of getting it!
I could do this job. It sounds good. And in the big picture, it could fulfill a dream. My dream. Take my life in the direction I want.
Holy shit. Do I do this??
I am thinking of applying in the next few days. Just try. If I get it, there’s some big thinking to do. I like my current job and wanted to stay a couple of years at least. But if Europe is the dream and I have a chance… I should leap for it right?
And the harder parts:
What if it doesn’t work out there? I have to come back and search for a job again when I have a good one.
Am I ready to pack up and go with very little to my name? All by myself. (Comfort: I know some friends who live there) I don’t really have all my shit together. I’ve not been looking so I’m not like really ready..
If I live there and Peter doesn’t want to be with me, how will I handle that? If it’s bad, I’ll be alone out there. How?
Ella | Long Distance Flutters 